July 31, 2007

This Marriage Matter and Timeline for a Nigerian babe.....

I just wan ask this question because I no get time type the whole thing as annoying as it is!

Ok, I understand say by Naija standard, when babe pass 30 years, she suppose marry have children(s), and of course, friends and family go match-make and grumble and whine for the wine they have not drunk on the babe head yet etc etc...

But when a man toast woman and she no gree hin own, when a man outrightly proposes to a babe within two weeks of meeting her, just because "He wants to get married!", and doesn't comprehend why a babe of over 30 years would be saying no to "his handsome" self etc...........DOES THAT FREAKING GIVE HIM THE RIGHT TO SAY TO THE WOMAN MONTHS AFTER SHE ASSUMES HE HAS GOTTEN OVER HIS PROPOSAL BEING REJECTED......"YOU KNOW TIME IS PASSING YOU BY SHA!!!"

What freaking gives a man (except your father, brothers, family) the right to say that to a woman!!!??? Just because she said NO to him!!!!???

What sane woman would say YES to a proposal that drops within 2 weeks of meeting a guy because he has 'marriage' on his immediate agenda?!! Just because he is tired of being 'lonely' and "wants a woman by his side?"!! Keep in mind that he has been married before?!!!!! And still grumbles about that marriage that packed up years ago!!!Does that smell of a man that has emotional issues or what?!!!!

Did I mention that he actually cried so many times on the phone and face-to-face because ...."she is not loving him back?"(Blah!!!! In my book, men DONT cry! Unless its on a death matter!!) That stinks of a man with ISSUES!!!!

And OK, he is not Igbo man (at least there I hail the Igbo man cos he will NOT cry!!!:fing24: He is from Ghana! in his almost late forties and cries?!!!! Haba!!!!

OK, I shall not vent in my normal way......cos I am listening to Prayerthon right now on my church's website.....later, I shall really vent more here in my blog!!!!

Nonsense Yeye African Men!!! Imagine trying to put pressure by saying 'time is passing by'! For who? Because person know say you no near the "Mr Almost Right" not to talk of Mr. Right?! hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

July 30, 2007

July 29, 2007

Re: A Girl I know........Part 2

Someone asked me if the rape story I posted earlier is about me (Estella), and to that, I say.......

* It is the story of many girls in Nigeria!

* It is the life many girls in Nigeria had to live with~

* Young innocent girls being constantly molested, violated, harassed and even sometimes killed by those they trusted so much just because the men were animals who could not control their beastly, perverted, demented lustful beings! And knowing that there is really no law to make them pay for their acts, they perpetuate and continue unhindered!

* It is definitely the story, albeit indirectly of young girls with dreams who were sold (so to say) by their parents to rich old men as wives, and have to live the rest of their days being constantly raped by their 'husbands' [whom they never loved or chose in the first place!] And they dare not say NO to the sexual demands from the man!!

* That story is definitely the story of many a 'house help' or "maids" as they are called in Nigeria who were sent by their poor family to go help a relation or family acquaintance with their domestic chores in exchange for good education, food and shelter, but who end up being the 'other woman' in the house when the 'madam' is sleeping, out to work or on a trip! AGAINST HER CHOICE, MIND YOU!!

* It is the story of that maid who gets raped by her 'Oga' or master every night and threatened to never say a word to anyone about it! And that girl grows up and becomes someone else's wife, and many a time, she may end up marrying a man she doesn't even trust or love because the molesting bastard who stole her innocence in childhood left her with a MASSIVE TOTAL DISTRUST FOR MEN!! Sure, she is now someone's wife and mother, but the scars from the molesting days NEVER goes away!!! If driven into the subconscious!!!

I count American girls 'lucky' (if I may use the word in such a detestable situation), because they can get justice on the bastards who molested, raped or assaulted them, and they can also get counseling to get over the trauma, and can also speak to people or organizations involved in such matters. They can even talk to an anonymous Hotline number to feel better and realise that they can get over it!

But who does the little girl in Nigeria have? NO ONE! She doesn't even need the threat from her assailant to keep quiet,
- the fear of the stigma is enough to shut her up!
- The fear of now being seen as 'promiscous' will shut her up!
- The fear as being seen as 'violated' would shut her up!

And the danger?!! Shutting up kills inside!!! It makes the woman become 'hard', unemotional, or even over-emotional! Nah! I dont want to bring in Psychology into this discussion! I am a trained psychologist, and without demoting my first profession, I can tell you the typical Nigerian girl that has been violated dies inside! Dont ask me how....I know....

Sometimes, I wonder how so many of those girls who grew up and made something of their lives feel!
Sometimes I wonder if the Rape laws are changed in Nigeria now, and no statute of limitation is enforced in regards to bringing rapists and molesters to justice in Nigeria, HOW MANY WOMEN WOULD BE READY TO STEP FORWARD AND GET THE JUSTICE THAT IS RIGHTFULLY THEIRS!!!!
How Many men would be convicted that we would be shocked at?!
How many guilty men are out there!!

How many rapists and child molesters are we still leaving to play with our little girls these days who call them 'uncle'?!! How many?! What are they doing to the little girls?!! What are they being told not to say?!!! Where are the guilty men?! Why for goodness sakes are they still parading the streets free?!!!!!

July 28, 2007

A GIRL I KNOW...... RAPED!

I want to tell you about a girl I know.
A young pretty girl that grew up in Nigeria. Her story is almost a story so many girls have hidden in their hearts, NEVER to be talked about! And they are walking round with the deep hidden wound that end up manifesting in other psychological problems!
Because RAPE is not a subject that is discussed in public due to the stigma attached to it, especially for the girl! I am yet to hear of any man in Nigeria going to jail because of rape! Does the legislation enforce that? Is it even in the laws of Nigeria?
Anyway, read the story of a girl I know - RAPED!
By someone she trusted and called a 'brother'!
Let me tell you the truth about rape!! Those that have been there, I am not trying to bring up memories, I am trying to help you purge it!! I know it is very sad to have to leave your body and watch from afar someone violating you, and all you do is the deep whimpering that cannot help. Because, if you return back to your body, you may fight some more, and lose your life!! SO, you endure in silence, but far away from your body. But, anyway, your mind is still destroyed, but at least, you are alive! SURVIVAL, RIGHT!!!??

A young girl that was attending all her catechism classes and being a good girl, reading Barbara Cartland novels which talked about women keeping their virginity till marriage, was so good at keeping away from sex. Even though she looked so sexy and all. She had her head screwed right!

AT 18 years [ A strange age to be a virgin in University Of Jos those days], she was attending a summer class where she meet this guy that was very helpful in studies and nice.

To make a long story longer, they became study partners and one day as usual, he told her to wait for him at is brother's place in the hostel. (BIG mistake!) But she knew the his elder brother [because he was dating her 'school mum', and she called him big bro]. He said his brother was going to be back soon, thus she waited with him, nothing unusual! Till it got to past 9pm and she was up to go, but 'big bro' said, no prob, he will drop you off when he returns, very soon! And Irene {her school mum was coming over anyway}.

Short version: 10:15pm, no one came, hostel had become quiet, and 'big bro' grabs her and dragged her to the mattress! Next thing she was struggling, but he kept pinning her down, and told her straight up that if she screamed, the other guys in the other room would come take their turns! And next thing, a dagger appeared! He is athletic, she is 18, and she knew she was way past her time to be home, BUT she trusted him!

END: His ramming into her that night is an experience she can never forget! BECAUSE her body left her that day!. This is 13 years later! But she still gets to the point that she leaves her body when making love sometimes! It has cost her relationships! Being why she is still single at 31! Can she trust guys!?? No! Had she tried?. YES!! And was she disappointed? YES!! Cos, they always come down to thinking sex should be a sign of true love!! Only her present boyfriend keeps that far, but she had been battered psychologically that the right man has come, but she is scarred!

MIDDLE!" Sure, she left for home and ran to their family doctor, but all was OK! But, she had to tell her parents as the doctor said she should, or he would! She that never drank alcohol in her whole life then, lied to her parents that she was at a party, left her drink, someone drugged it and raped her. She does not know who! BIG LIE!!

WHY?! Because, her dad would have let down the sky on the culprit-'big bro'.
Oh by the way, his father happened to be the Head of the biggest Anglican church in Jos then. And you think religious people have the best children!! WHATEVER!!!

REASON SHE DID NOT SEEK 'PROFESSIONAL HELP':
  • Because it does not exist in Nigeria.
  • The scandal would have been too much!
  • She would have been blamed for being there so late! The worst thing is being blamed when raped!!
  • She would have been the object of mockery, especially for the guys she had turned down before.

Worst: The idiot had the guts to tell her when he bumped into her 2 weeks later when she returned back to school that he would want to continue later with a more responsive body not the log of wood! IF A GUN WAS AVAILABLE, THEN SHE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN BLAMED!!
I know this girl and I know the absolute and total lack of distrust she fought within her against the male gender for a long while! I know her pains, and know that she really did hurt and while growing up, she perfectly hid all her pains and engrossed herself in being the best at everything she did! She detested the society that made the man the 'head', and same society that refused to protect the women or bring molesting, harrassing, and raping men to justice!!!

THIS IS SENSITIVE!! If you have nothing to talk about, please keep quiet! Just read and GO!!!
You have the right to remain silent, SO SHUT UP!!!!!

July 26, 2007

Nigerian Image Abroad....

Its about time Nigerian embassy and we all here try to make effort to reduce all these rubbish they say about Nigeria! NOT ALL OF US ARE BAD!! AND WHOMEVER IS DUPED ala 419 is also a GREEDY PERSON!! Kapish!!!

Its about time we all start bombarding CNN, Oprah and the likes that are painting us with dirt with protest emails!!

In fact, we should cut the time we spend on facebook and other Online forum into half and use the remaining half to send thousands of emails to all the popular media emails addresses to stop these rubbish!!! They will definitely think twice!!!

Its about time we stand up and be heard!!
No one would dare write trash about some other races and tribes because their people will call/.email/ and use protest placards to bombard the office of the perpetrators!!

BUT we, Nigerians, when we see it, all we do is just hiss or move on! And the rubbish keeps sticking on it!
How many of us business people have been denied a financial transaction just because we're Nigerians?! Not fair at all!!!..

I saw a post by someone on Facebook about what Oprah said about Nigerians. I love Oprah and I truly hope she didn't make such a Stereotypical comment about Nigerians in general! Because not all of us are 419ers!!

Sure, some people dupe others via 419, but the 'dupees' are GREEDY too, or they wouldn't have been duped in the first place! How does someone tell you that his father was the horrible dictator and embezzling former president of Nigeria who stashed away millions of naira somewhere and he needs to launder the money to US and need your bank account to commit this federal crime and you willingly give them your bank account to help them dupe Nigeria!!! Duh!!!! And they ask your to send them some money from your account to 'test' your account and you really do so!!! Double duh!!!! How gullible and stupid!! And for the women that are promised marriage from across the Atlantic ocean and truly agree!!! C'mon now!!!!!! The man you see face-to-face from across your street is dubious and you really have to look well to make the relationship work, so, how do you imagine that the man you talk to on the phone who is desperate to relocate to USA loves you?!!!

In as much as I detest the 419ers, I laugh sometimes at the stupid stuff they entice people with, because even common sense and self-defense should alert some people that some things are JUST NOT REAL!! If it is too good to be true, it probably isnt! Kapish!

July is going again....

I love July, not because its my birthday month, its also because its an awesome month, its Summer, and lots of activities and stuff, and when I was much younger, it was long vacation....!!

So, another July is almost gone, and this year, I have actually found out that I have over 5 birthday mates!! Ain't that cute!! And found most of my friends were born in July! If I believed in Horoscope, I would say that is why we are always at loggerheads with each other! lol.....

Anyhoo.....its still early in the day and I got lots to do today! I am turning off my phones for now, as I want to get busy, I will turn them back on from 2:00pm!

Thing is, some friends and acquaintances assume that because one is self-employed means one has the whole time in the whole world to gist with them!! EVEN DURING BUSINESS HOURS!!! Keep in mind that they will still get paid for gisting with people, as long as they do it while they are signed in on the clock!

They want to gist with you because their jobs are boring, but the pay is faat! And they wont leave and go do something they love doing (even if the pay is lower)! As for me, I DON'T compromise "Job Satisfaction". This life is full of too much ish for me to sit and be miserable because of a fat paycheck! I simply 'downgrade' my lifestyle and be happy!!! Kapish!! Not everyone is motivated by money like dat abeg!! There should be other intrinsic value to work, not just the monetary reward!!!!!!

Now, some friends would actually call me at 8am, 9 am, 10 am, and all other crazy BUSY time just to ask me how I dey? (Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the concern, but how about the fact that you are doing the right thing at the WRONG time!!!???), and if I want to get off the phone fast after responding because I got a lot on my table, they think I have an attitude!

Personally, I don't call people at their jobs before 12 noon! Unless its an urgent matter, because I have worked in an office environment before and I know that people have things to clear out on their tables before lunch (those that know what they are doing anyway!! Because some rather hang around the coffee room or the water cooler to talk about their cats and dogs!!) instead of doing the job they are paid to do!!

I employed a seamstress once, and from the time she walked in to the studio, till she left, she would be on her cell phone! Claiming they were "International calls"!! Bull crap!!! So, freaking what!!!!???? You are working!!!! And on my time!!!!! And that outfit is supposed ti have been ready YESTERDAY!!!!!! And international callers should know the time difference!!!! Need I say she and I parted ways! And she didn't understand and called me names cos she believed she did everything for me blah blah blah and she thought we were friends blah blah blah!!! Ok, so, because we were supposedly friends, you will now be chatting endlessly on the phone and end up making a simple skirt in 6 hours!!! And cutting an expensive lace fabric that was supposed to have a square-neck into a V-neck?!!!! Friends? Then, why are you not sewing for FREE for me! Isn't that what 'friends' do? Help each other out!!! And the distractions from your stupid chatting nko?! And you talking to a married man in London while you live in USA and having hope that he will leave his wives and kids for you AIN'T COOL in my book!!!! So, OUT THE DOOR YA GO!!!

Anyhoo, let me turn off these phones and get creative! Because the incessant ringing of the phone can make any creative mind lose its train of thoughts or ideas! Correct me if I am wrong, fellow creative people!

Oky doky........signing out and see you later! And I hope no friend reading this would misunderstand it O! I didn't say don't call me, just don't call me at the wrong time! (before 1:00pm).......besides, from 10:00pm, I am free to chat, unless I have a deadline to meet, then, my voice message would be there for you! And if its a business emergency, then, leave me a text message ASAP!....

Love ya anyhow!

Shalom!

July 25, 2007

July 25th.....

What can I say, except that I am rateful to God for everything and it gets so overwhleming sometimes....but God is my strength and I am grateful to all the media people who have been publicizing me to the world even for free! I will take out time dedicate a post to you all and post links to your site....

God bless you!

That one person that changed things for you......

I have that one person, my former executive director when I was in Naija working as the Project Manager on a Rivers State Enhanced Care of HIV/AIDS Orphans, funded by Africare (based in Wash. DC here) ....when I got here, I had wanted to continue working with them, but I lived in Dallas then, by the time I got to DC Metro, I was too deep in school to go there and then, the fashion thing started and the rest, as you know it is history!

Anyhoo, my former boss filled a form for me, just about 3 months into my working with her, without my knowledge, when Hewlett-Packard foundation were looking for Young women working as over seers in reputable non-profit organizations across the globe to sponsor for a 3-month (all expenses paid fellowship in Washington DC). Imagine my surprise when she called me from my Port-Harcourt base, and told me to report to our Owerri headqtrs and gave me a flight ticket to go for an interview in Lagos Eko l' Meridien. The interviewer, Julie, flew in from DC, and after my interview, I had to return back to my PH base as we were scheduled to meet the Amayanabo of Bonny on one of our targeted community Meeting-with-traditional-rulers phase of our project.

And less than two weeks, i was summoned back to Owerri, this time, I was congratulated for being the person picked to represent Nigeria at the fellowship in DC, handed a fat envelope with a business class Lufthansa ticket, 3-months reservation at Savoy Suites in DC, and a flight to go to the US embassy at Lagos for my travel Visa. Hmmm...need I say that I was greeted and treated well and had my visa in couple of hours and had to proceed to the German embassy for my transit visa........

Let me put it like this: Before I knew it, I was flying back to PH, stuffing stuff in my suitcase and was headed back to MM International airport! And was airborne...didnt even have time to tell my parents I was off to my program!

Who picked me up from Dulles International Airport? - My adopted white mum! And she has remained a mum to me till date. And she travels globally a lot, havent seen her the past two years, she was in India working on a project, but I am glad she is around for my birthday and that I spent my birthday with her and her mum! Who made all these first trip to US possible? My former boss in Naija!

And how did I get that job? Hmmmm.....my mum saw the Ad in Champion Newspaper, and she asked my little cousin to write an Application for me! I didnt even know about it, cos I was working at DBN TV in lagos then! Mumsie called me one day to return to the east and go for an interview! I had to read the letter my cousin wrote on my behalf, and she underrated my qualifications I must say though

Anyhoo, at the panel of over 5 people, they ended up apologizing that they could only give me the position in Port Harcourt as against the Owerri one 'I' applied for!! Hah!! See me!!! Who wan work for that nasty owerri 419 and otokoto filled city!!! They didnt know I preferred PH! And the pay was mouth-watering!! And I returned back to Lagos and packed baggage and zoomed to PH!

Long gist! The reason for the gist? Just to acknowledge the one person God used to change my life, if Mrs O did not apply for that fellowship at the Gloria Steinem Leadership Institute for me, I never would have bothered to come this way, because I was more into going to London and then Germany. And all the training and stuff I learnt from that Fellowship shaped who I am today!

And I lost touch with her! Her cell number changed etc....but today, one of the American professors attached to our Women Empowerment Project sent me an email out of the blues!!! He just returned from Naija and they had seen an article and pictures of me as fashion designer in a magazine in Naija there and now, we are all back in communication! What magazine? I dont even know and at this point, dont care!! I am so glad to get back in touch with Mrs O and Mr Smith!! ! Because of that first trip she made happen for me, subsequents trips to USA were easy! And now I am here....itching to relocate again to Naija when certain things fall in place like I am working on!

Thank you Mrs O, if you ever read this, but a big hug I wanna give you soon for believing in me and seeing something in me! I dont even want to think of the hatorades from the other workers who had been there for like 4, 5 years before me who didnt understand why the 'new comer' = Me, had to be sent to US on a course study!! Oh well, I am a blessed baby! Kapish!
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Sprint messed me up on my birthday!!!

I am changing my provider kia kia!!!Imagine!! I went to my 'Mum's place in Potomac. Their house is set on a ranch-like estate with an orchard behind...(and Sprint phone doesnt do well with trees and tall buildings!!!)

So, I virtually had no reception!And my girls had organized a surprise party for me and wanted the surprise on me!!! But they didnt know I went to Potomac at about 7pm! I kept getting these calls and each time I picked up, my phone showed "Signal faded"....so, I relaxed where I was.....blew my candles out, ate my roast lamb, jollof rice (cooked by my oyibo mum!!! she tried sha....it tasted close to naija type!) and had me glasses of healthy red wine and off to sleep!!! cos she gave me lights out at 10pm!!!! Imagine! (says I over-work myself and had to rest!!!) No laptop, no internet....."Go to bed Miss!!! You have to rest!!!!" so, I go to snore land only to wake up today on my way to church to hear that I missed my own party yesterday!!!!! Chai!!!!!!

They agreed to postpone it, but will let me know when this time!!! But they should have known that surprise thingy no go work with me! What if I had hopped on a plane to Miami beach like I had also wanted to! Afterall, the open ticket is in my hand already and I dont have to call off work! hee hee hee....Overall, AWESOME birthday!!! And lovely pictures to be posted soon!

It reminds me of the best birthday I had when I was 14, when my mum took my brothers and I to a Motherless babies Home in Kano to celebrate with them! That experience formed my dedicating myself to non-profit and volunteer work ever since! And buying presents for others and taking care of an elderly lady yesterday was the highlight of my day!

A loud, crowded party would have been fun! And I know people would have crashed it a lot!!! Imagine the emails and phone calls about my postponed birthday fashion show! People wanting to know the new date! I was like....wow!!

Its a good feeling!!! But the best gift I gave myself yesterday was REST!!! I woke up at 11:00am and slept at 10:00pm!! That, is something money cant buy! - REST!!! And been along time I slept that long!! Phew!

Now, back to work!! Deadlines to be met, and the Fashion Show Expo still being organized on a bigger scale! back to business as usual................

My Birthday.....

ha ha ha ......of all the cards and phone calls and croaky voices singing Happy Birthday today, I love this the most: http://www.birthdayalarm.com/Card/33796240a7149676

And thanks for all the calls peeps! Luv ya all!! And you had to wake me up hun! I planned to sleep till sleep tire this morning for me! lolI am in the boutique now, can you imagine!! Oh well, extra $$$$ entered my hand O jare! Haba! If na person I dey work for nko? I for no take today off keh! My private birthday party begins at 8 pm today! So.....looking forward to that for shizzle! And I said I was not going to spend money today, only to end up shopping for fabrics at Joann Store to make clothes I will give as present to the four most lovely people that have been a blessing to me here........ I am giving gifts on my birthday! hee hee hee....feels very good! Left a hole in me weekend pocket, but the clients that came in a while ago replaced the quid! :Ok, time to log off and go have me a lovely b'day! I woke up with a song of praise in my heart this morning! And for that alone, I thank you God.The phone calls and text messages........God bless and replenish you all. AMEN. I promise to do a come-chop at least for ya all! I had actually shopped to cook for close friends today, but changed my mind last minute, as I dont want people to know where I live now. Operating my business from home before made too many people know my home, now, with my boutique opened, I can have my much-deserved privacy at last!! And place is only for close and trusted friends. .......Shalom all!

35 on 21st of July!!!

My fav cousin who is a Rev Mother called me from Austria this morning to wish me Happy Birthday in advance....(so sweet of her! Does so every year! I love her to pieces) even when I dont call her, she still calls me! Shows she is a real Rev Mother!!! Imagine being made a Rev mother when she was less than 30! She is blessed.

She is a year older than me! I told her I am getting old and she said something that was so deep I have had it on my mind all day....she said all living things SHOULD be growing old, and not growing down!!!

And thinking about it......a childhood friend of Mine- Francesca Chukwurah died at childbirth about 10 years ago! ANother one, Angela Obi, died after two kids (epitome of beauty she was!), Sandra died of Leukemia! And some I may not know of! (God forbid sha!)

I have lost my fav uncle recently!! And so on and so forth!! And here I am looking at the numbers 3 & 5 as if they are menacing!! When in fact, I should give God thanks and praises for being alive!!!

Sure, women aint supposed to tell their age! WHY??!!!! To me, only if you are ashamed of your age! I know I can pass for an under 30 anyday....but for what purpose!! Age is just a number..... and looking at where I am now, I can only say....GOD, THANK YOU!!!

I have had so many near-death accidents, and I survived them all, If I was a cat with nine lives, I have already lost all nine, I tell ya! Yes! I know..... And to God be the glory!!

How can I forget the year 2003 when the doctors had to put 2 pints of blood to bring me back to life in the surgery?! They didnt believe I would make it alive! But God brought me back!!! And I actually walked away from the hospital 2 weeks after, on my own legs!! The doctors kept coming to see me at INOVA in Virginia to see the girl that made it alive after losing so much blood! And they had wanted to postpone the surgery till my fever and blood pressure came down....but i dont know and dont care now, but just thank God.

And you tell me to hide that I will be 35 in the next 48 hours? Na you sabi!!

But dang! 40 seems so close!! Dammit!!! But, I will attain all my dreams and visions by then in Jesus' Name! AMEN.

God has been faithful and kept HIS own part of the bargain with me! And sometimes, I barely keep my own part!! I still get easily riled up with people sometimes.......(hmmmmmm......koh easy O).......cos sin na sin! No be till you kill person!

This year started cool and got bad a bit and got better again and its getting betterer and betterer.....

I just decided, on the 21st, I will work as usual, go to the Power Explosion event and then go to my 'adopted' mother's house in Potomac, (she is white and I love her to death! She is planning to bake me a cake, get lots of wine!(:sweat), cook rice and lamb, and we just talk till we pass out! And that sure beats any noisy party on that day! Besides, most of my friends would be out of town that day (at the NEA Award....dem no nominate me this year! But, I happy in a way sha O! Because I love JD-7 Couture Fashions!) Mrs Data knows wassup!!! And I doff my hat to her!! She better win that Best Fashion Designer of the Year Award or I go tear those people!!! - Yes, quote me!!

It takes only a honest, modest person to know person wey pass am, and JD-7 Couture got creativity!!! See some of her designs here! but no mean say I cant do like her or even better....she has lots of manpower in Naija to execute all her creations! Here, tell one tailor to make your couture design and they will be calling hundreds of dollars and me no get time abeg!But, she got style.....so, SHE BETTER WIN THAT CATEGORY!!!!!! (nothing personal against Moshood or NFF)....anyhoo....I win last year's

Ok, back to my birthday.......besides my friends going out of town.....I have two weddings to attend that day.....a member of the group that is launching me to the whole world soon is getting married that day and hear this: AN ex-boyfriend of mine is getting married same day and I asked him, why my birthday?! Your wedding anniversary forever go be my birthday? Na so you like me reach?!

And something is happening at an African Embassy here on 21st and I am part of that event!!

its awesome to be born in the Summer I tell ya!

So, now, I postpone my birthday for everyone cos I go CELEBRATE this life I have O!!

And abeg, I am writing from my boutique!!! One of the best birthday present God has giving me and lots more unraveling in a few!!

WHO AM I?!!! That God looks down on little me and hands me blessings!!!

To HIM that is on the throne forever and ever, Praise be your Holy Name and thank you for making me 35 year young!

PS: I hope this wont be like last year that my phone rang off the hook with my friends singing "Happy Birthday" in their all croaky voices (!! And if I remember, I was sick and bed-ridden on my birthday last year!!!! And you said I shouldn't celebrate? HABA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dem send you!!!!?????????????
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Dont Frigging Call Me Ijeoma!!!!!

Yes!!! I am so pisssssed off!!! It is simple English!!!! DONT FRIGGING CALL ME IJEOMA!!!!!

How difficult is that?!!! And its worse when I hear unauthorized persons calling me IJEH!!!!!

Yes, UNAUTHORIZED!!!! I give permission to anyone to call me IJEOMA or IJEH!

If I DONT tell you to call me that, then, please DONT!!!Yeah, how small things can irritate people, my Igbo name being uttered by the wrong mouths puts me off!!! And no, my hormones are not at work today!!

I dont even use "I" in my initials! I use 'EO' and not 'EIO' because I dont want no one calling me Ijeoma!

WHY?: BECAUSE IT IS MY FAMILY NAME!!!! Reserved to my family members and loved ones and people I can truly call friends and well wishers!!!

I prefer ESTELLA!!! Dang! Estella is a nice name, and I dont know why people, especially Igbo people want to call me by my native name!!!

What is wrong with ESTELLA? Heh??? Oyibo people here murder my last name bad enough!!! Ogbonna has been called 'Ogbono'. 'Agboni', 'Agbana', 'Og bona', and all sorts of atrocities and variations and you want me to put IJEOMA on the butcher's slab for them to murder it too?!!! Mba!!!!

A toaster asked me my Igbo name, I dallied on that cos I didnt want to hear the usual "IJ baby, lovely name, that's what I will be calling you from now on" crap!. After his whining, I told him, but insisted he NEVER call me by that!!! But, he did!! Not once, not twice, and me, I dont like him like that!! He brags and boasts too much, so, I know we cant even be buddies!!!! And I now warn him NOT to ever call me IJEOMA and he thinks I am crazy! And I told him his number is permanently deleted! (Did I over react? = NO!!!) Its called self-respect!! You chose to bear Obi, Emeka, Okonkwo, I chose ESTELLA, I am not calling you by your English name Atanatius or whatever! Why the fuss?! You aint family!!! You are a toaster! And you no even get hope! Cos you aint my type of guy! Oh yes! I am picky!!!!!

Tendency is that you may get to read this as I see you now google and follow all my write-ups on the Internet. Ok, so, now read this here!!! I am cutting you out of even being an acquaintance cos I cant stand your over-sized Igbo-itic ego and pride!!! You lost me from the day you said " I am a typical proud Igbo man"!!! If you really knew me well, you should not have said that!!! Cos, I CANT STAND THE TYPICAL IGBO MAN!!!![Typical Igbo man that thinks that what makes a man is the size of his pockets! The size of his house, the size of his house in his village, the number of cars he rides and how many people 'recognize' him as a 'Chief', a 'Knight' or a very rich man that has 'arrived'!! BULL CRAP!!!!)...Keeping in mind that he may sometime not even have one single educational qualification to his name!!! How about being known as a great thinker? A philanthropist, A scientist, an engineer etc....without monetary or financial reward tied to your waist strings?!

For crying out loud, I am hausa!! Not Igbo!! Sure, I am born of Igbo parents, but I grew up with hausas and I will claim hausa till I die!! You cant live with that? Then sorry for your tribalistic igbo big head!!!

Yeah, I like the Igbo man's enterprising nature, and I admire those that have shed some of those 'Igbo mentality'!! And those that still cry for Biafra (I reserve my comment on those for now! hmmmm.) To me, I prefer an Igbo man that did not grow up in Igbo land! Same applies to igbo girls as well!! I do better with those that did not spend the early parts of their lives in Igbo land!!

Before the press quotes me on this....let me make this clearer....I am Igbo, but I am also hausa!! I love Igbos, but hate their arrogant, materialistic nature! I believe you can become great without being rude, arrogant, boastful, and full of yourself!! Ok, how do you explain this: An Igbo guy goes to restaurant to buy ribs, and his bill is $49.80, but he brings out his whole $5,000 100 dollar bills to drag out one bill? WHY?!!!!!!!! Haba!!!

Enuff said........Just dont call me Ijeoma!!!! Cos when I dont answer or go off on you, then, dont call me crazy!!!!

My dad has learnt to call me Estella too (given that the name he gave me at birth is STELLA), if my dad, mum and brothers can call me ESTELLA, then, why are you not!!? You think calling me 'Ijeh baby' will make me like you? Or feel different about you? Or make me closer to you?!!!

You got it all wrong then!!!MY NAME IS ESTELLA!!!

Say after me..... E S T E L L A...

"MRS" Estella.....

I had mentioned that I was gettting married early this year on a web forum I belong to in my diary corner. And all of a sudden, the haters there wont fail to miss a day ithout refering to my being married with two step-children!

And I wonder why? Is it that they are happy that I was off the shelf, leaving more guys to chase their sorry azzes, or they are jealous that I am married? What?!!!

Abegi! I am not one of those that desperately chase after men!! Men chase me! And in fact, my problem most times is choosing who to give the time of day in a simple thing as a date to the movies! So, to make it easier on my self (considering the tight schedule I run in my business, I simply shut everyone of them off and concentrate on my business - my 'hubby')!

After bad choices in men, I am now more than over cautious who I even say hello to! Because some silly men in this Maryland area have been heard to brag of dating girls who never gave them even a curt 'hi', just because they want to 'belong'! And I DONT need that type of publicity!

Married or not, how is that anyone's business?! Only my dad and mum should be worried about stuff like that! haba! Who are you? Its my private bees wax, but for the public, ....." I am guilty of being too ambitious to give EC up to settle for Mrs!I have given too much into my career to drop it just to validate myself as a 'Mrs' at this point! Kapish! That is the breaking News, and that is all the Media and public need to know!!''if you wanna fill in the blanks.....na you sabi!

So, for the very last time, enuff of the "MRS ESTELLA" for now........when and if I can manipulate my way into continuing to be a fashion designer with a big goal and dream and also a mother/wife/ etc....y'all will know!I am loving being single, sassy and satisfied at the moment!

I am guilty of being hardworking, Cute, ambitious, sassy, sexy, creative, stubborn, disciplined, smart, intelligent, sometimes bossy, optimistist, believer, strong, confident, attractive, admirable, very technical, blah blah blah.....etc etc NA CRIME? nah! Just loving being me!!!

And seriously, it will take a lot to make me give up ESTELLA COUTURE for any one!

Drinking Panadol and Phensic and Advil for others.....

I am just wondering..........is it not very abnormal and inappropriate and against all etiquette for anyone to drink Panadol for other people headache? Especially in the business arena...This beauty came for me to make her pageant dress and from all indication, there is a conflict with her pageant organizer and a rival organization whom I also know and close to. I know both rival organizations, and have worked with both of them, now they are having issues!!! And I am stuck in the middle!!!!! Pluuuuze! I am a business woman!! Out to make money and fame!! So, am I supposed to walk away from both organizations so as not to hurt any one of them?! Haba!!!
Women!!!!!!!!

Nothing personal, strictly business, especially if it is a mutual relationship like you need my service and I need your business/publicity etc.....But Africans take things too far!! Americans would smile and go ahead with the business, even exchange gifts and life goes on!! Afterall, it is said to be, Nothing personal, just doing business!

And if person be my friend and we all have a mutual friend, and una two fall out, and the other person no do me anything directly, I SHALL remain friends with the person till he/she give me reason to change my mind. And I WILL only change my mind about the person IF I see any reason to.

Like I have two enterprising ladies in my life now, I met Ms B through Ms A. I have known Ms A longer than Ms B, of course. Now Ms A and Ms B dont talk anymore, I never involved myself when their yawa was going on.....(knowing women, if you do, they will use you to settle quarrel later!) And to me, they were both at fault!!! Well, they fell out! Now, Ms B brought me an awesome deal, and I am working on it, but I havent told Ms A about it....cos I know she wont be happy and may even carry 'agro' for me! (women!!!)......because if Ms A and Ms B were still friends, I know the deal would have gone to Ms A! But this is a deal that cant be hidden for too long, she will know very soon when it all unravels!! And I am still thinking of what to tell Ms A!

I am stuck in the middle again!!!! And they still refuse to make up!!!Haba!!!!

July 15, 2007

TO ANNITA AND EFTU!

Awesome to meet you wonderful ladies again after all these years!

I love you all and you made my day!!!

Its JULY!

Yep! Half of the year - GONE! And my birthday in the next 7 days!!

Whoheee!!! I am getting old!! lol

And I am loving life - to THE FULLEST!

Yeah yeah yeah.....I aint married yet!! But who's fretting?! Not me!!!

Biological clock? Hmmm....mine aint got no battery installed! hee hee hee


Career-wise?! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!

What more can I ask for?

But to say THANK YOU GOD!!!!! You never leave your children nor forsake them!

I shall come in to post more.......

Watch out!

Glam..

Glam..
Photo by TORRANCE PATRICK

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EC FEATURED FAVORITE MODEL...

TAIWO ARIYO

VANETTE TOLBERT


just out from church...

just out from church...
Estella,Adaeze, Madarocka

Fashion Teen Idol Show in DC



EC Fashion shows...

EC Fashion shows...
Estella backstage with models @ Couture Fashion Week NY.....

Models @ Zanzibar

Models @ Zanzibar
Backstage getting ready for the runway.......... photo by John Harman

Tradishionale... (Ms. Estella) in Aso-oke and raw silk dress..........

photo by John Harman

Estella & Madarocka in EC Designs...

EC Red Carpet Wear (African Damask, Silk and Lycra Mix)

photo by Andrew Bronfein

2009 Ad Campaign

2009 Ad Campaign

Me?

Me?
hmmm...

Models....

Models....
Back stage just before the runway strutting!... photo by Reward