August 28, 2007

'My Brand New Man'.....! ?

'My Brand New Man'..... you wanna hear about 'him'?

Hol' up!!!! I didn't say this, a friend said it! She said she can ONLY marry a 'Brand New man'! And when I asked her what she meant, hear her:

"Her Brand New Man has to have these qualities:
  • Never been married
  • Has no 'baby mama' drama
  • No girl-friend or Ex still hanging on"
Ok, every babe wants all those, but my take on this is that when a babe crosses age 30, come on, ya shopping list for a man got to drop some qualities! Haba!

Given, as a teenager, Barbara Cartland and Mills & Boons told us that Mr Right was ALWAYS perfect! {Chiseled muscular body, tall, handsome, always clean shaven, smells musky all the time, dark, with hairy chest, gentlemanly with a baritone husky, sexy voice to match!} Ooops! Did I forget that he has to be able to fly you both to a romantic remote island for seafood diner? Or be able to take the yatch out on the weekend while you cruise and sip wine and look dreamily into each other's eyes ......awwwwwwww. BOING!!!!!!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!! STOP DROOLING!!! Those were fictions!!! Ok, on rare occasion, such men may exist 1 out of 1,000,000! ? Right?

REALITY CHECK!! When you meet a guy that is tall and handsome, [not necessarily dark], chances are, he is full of himself and believes he is all that and will have a nasty attitude and be a playa!! Hello!

When you meet one that is gentlemanly and nice and smells husky, blah blah blah, he may just be gay! Or bi-sexual! Eeewww!

When you meet one that is clean-shaven, well dressed, handsome blah blah blah, he may just be a lazy azz looking for a babe to leech unto!!

And oh, you meet one that is not married, they just may have 6 kids from 4 different women!! Spread across 3 continents! And you wonder what ever happened to abstinence, or if you must, safe sex, like condom!!!!!! And oh! They are the ones that would take offense if they meet a responsible gurl that insists they take an AIDS test before dating them!

Where was I? Oh! About the Brand New Man, right? Yeah! So, I just wondered why a gurl of over 30 years would be looking for a brand new man!! Chances are that if a babe is in her mid or late 30s, guys that are older than her would most likely have been married or been involved in a relationship before etc....and could have a child(ren)......and why would a man be up to say....40 years and NEVER been married?!!!! With all the single fine sisters out there? Was he living a playah life?! ?? ? ? something must be wrong somewhere!

Sure, there are single, never-been-hooked guys out there, hey! I am looking for those too! But in the same vein, I will not sit put and say that a man has to be BRAND NEW! Nope! A lot of people made mistakes in their choices of relationships in their pasts and should not be made to die lonely cos of that. Everyone deserves a second chance! And its worse for people who live in the Diaspora who have had to marry who they just see or i some extreme cases, for what we call 'kpali' marriage, they are a myriad of, more especially, the number of immigrants of same nationality and race is limited in any particular geographic region. So, a married couple of today may not actually be married to their Mr/Ms Right!

A friend of mine from back in Jos just called me this past weekend to say she is divorced! I was aghast! First off, she was the last person I expected to have married at 22 years!! Straight out of school!!!! They won the Visa lottery, came to USA, now five years later, and 2 kids later, they are divorced!!! Thus ended a 10-year marriage!!!

Another friend is on the verge of filing a divorce, and just barely holding on, and I tell him to stay in it! At least for their children's sake! Makes me ask, what is it with marriages formed in Nigeria packing up here so fast?!

Ok, so, now, why would there not be second-hand men and women out there in droves?! So, for the sister looking for a Brand New Man, isnt she just reducing her own list of potentials?! Hmmmmmmmm........................

By the way, what qualifies a gurl to say she is "brand New"? Just because she has never been married? And has no kid? How about those that had abortions, if those kids had not been killed before they saw life, then such gurls would be single parents too!

What I am saying is this: Ladies, please reduce the restrictions you put on yourselves! Give a man with a child(ren) a chance! Sure, every woman would want to share their first child-birth experience with a man who has had no other child before, that would be a lovely shared process as first-timers, but consider the children of a man with a child already who also needs someone to nurture, love and make them feel happy and alive. We all know that the children are usually the more hurt victims from divorces or separation or even death of a parent! Thus, such a child(ren) would do better in life with a mother-figure as well.

And look at it like you are getting a ready-made family.....husband and children! DONT see the man's children as a hindrance or 'baggage'!!!! Children are gifts from above!

As for me, I have no qualms with being a Step mother! Dang! I was almost one earlier this year, but it didnt work out! I had already started to feel like a mother with two lovely kids already! And would I still want to be a step mother? Yes!!! But I can do without a baby mama drama for real!!!!

Am I crazy to want to do this? No! I love children and I will still adopt kids and set up a motherless babies home someday as God blesses me!.

Wouldnt I want to have a Brand New Man as well? You bet! I would, but will not restrict myself either!

Choose well ladies, at the end of the day, what matters is your happiness, and if the man is the only one assigned to make you happy in life, then, carve extra love for the kids as well and LIVE HAPPY!!!!! Yippppeeeeeeeeee!

GOOD NEWS: There are exceptions to the rules though! A God-fearing man!! God fearing man I said!! One that TRULY and honestly fears God!
Which explains why some girls have been accused of running to the church when they are too old and almost given up on hope looking for a born-again man. But to that I say, the babe better be born-again for real, and then we can all say Halleluyah that a man brought her to the Kingdom of God! Those that run to church pretending to be holy just to ensnare an unsuspecting brother end up being exposed anyway! Same applies to men as well who run to church to catch born-again wives (I will talk about that someday) getting back to the topic at hand, why do women think that because a brother is holy and born again means they have to turn Jezebels in the house and run their mouths like razor, and want to drag a holy brother down?! Why? (topic for another day too). But I will say "SHAME ON YOU" that go to church just to hook a man!
Seek God for real and a man would be added to you if that is what you ask God for. And when God gives a woman a husband, everyone that looks at her would see a very happy woman!!! But when a woman ensnares, tricks, traps or seduces a man to herself without seeking God's face first, then you hear of woes and they make you see marriage like its hell, when it should actually be a happy union.

And to all the babes looking for Brand New Man, with all the Mr. Right qualities, please can you you give me the 1 -800 number of the factory where such men are manufactured because I have a long list I want custom-made into a man, as my husband. Hee hee hee

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