August 16, 2007

Web Forums...and making friends .. Part 1

Given that most Nigerians are so busy working, paying bills and sending dollars home, it is excusable that most people sign up to Nigerian-oriented web sites or forums. As that is the only way they can 'identify' with others from the motherland.

And some of such virtual meetings could lead to real-life friendships! Some for good, others for bad, and most would leave a sour taste in one's mouth! Given that some people feel better behind a PC/laptop screen where they can invent "super heroes' and pretend or deceive themselves that it is reality to them!

I belonged to a Nigerian website, and I erroneously thought that it was truly a 'family-oriented' website, but I was VERRRRYYYYYY wrong! Given that initially, it was a site one could log into after a hard day's work to chat and laugh and tease 'faceless' friends. And it was 'safe' then!

But as soon as members got too comfortable and less cautious with one another, and started posting personal, family and real-life pictures, as soon as members started exchanging phone numbers and email addresses, as soon as members started meeting and partying in real-life, Offline, all hell broke loose!

People started getting too "close for comfort"!!
Things said in confident to people there now became a culture of "throwing it out on the Internet when the demon of anger possessed them"!!

And woe betide you if you try to break such friendship off completely like a surgical excision!! You get treated like a pariah, an out caste, an enemy!!

And this makes me wonder if "Friendship is by force"!? Someone once told me that you meet people for a reason, a season or for a lifetime!. And I for one DONT DO WELL WITH PRETENDERS!!!

I have an aversion for people that would want to call themselves "your friend" but are full of lies!!! And NEVER real!!

! Why would you call yourself my friend and all you want to do is hear about my woes and tears and NEVER say anything, instead when you open your mouth, all you do is brag and preach and drop names of people and ghosts I know you really dont know!

And why is it that when you want to yakitty yak and I have no sad tale to tell you, your countenance changes!! Geez!!

Anyhoo, its still better to meet people the old school way!! FACE-TO-FACE!!!! So that you can look out for the body languages that would either assure or caution you to thread with care on the relationship! Because 8 out of 10 times, people you meet Online would tend to 'pretend' and bragado of what they are not, cos they may not know that you would meet them someday face-to-face! That first impression matters a lot!!

And then, if you are brought up to be honest and transparent and meet such "fake" people, they cant handle it !! Or they claim you "talk too much", instead of them appreciating the fact that you stupidly trust them enough to be open with them!!!! (Dont we all learn!!!!). Though the sad part there is that when you eventually meet someone that is honest and open like you are, you may miss it and never trust them, just because some nicompoops has already spoilt your 'too-trusting' nature! It is sad indeed! My take is: Just thread cautiously when next you are on the road to making friends with a "STRANGER"!(Hitherto unknown face behind a PC!)

Mind you, I am not talking about girl meeting boy or boy meeting girl or Eve meeting Eva or Adam meeting Alvin sort of stuff..... I am talking about just regular, casual friendships!! Beware!!

To be continued........I will tell you my nasty experiences and the costs!!! Learn from my mistake!!!!

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