Someone called me 'Princess' the other day and I told him not to ever call me that again, but stick to my govt name - Estella.
He didnt understand........and I was not in the mood to explain why I do not like being called 'Adaeze' or 'Princess'....
Maybe I am wrong, but I see that title as one that would take away from who I am as E. I dont want anyone relating to me because of what my father is: (His Royal Highness (HRH) Eze ** Ogbonna)(equivalent to the KING of my place, though my tribe - (Igbos) do not officially use 'king' as title, but use 'Eze'
.....I am simply, Daddy's daughter. Besides, considering the crazy folks who are eying his throne there, I would rather have him simply as daddy, and not HRH! Ok, his role in the State govt level by virtue of his position does open doors I confess....but, I rather be Estella. because then, too much attention is put on me as 'Princess'.... And that is when I keep hearing from people stuff like...'Adaeze cannot do this!, Adaeze cannot do that! blah blah blah!
I remember my ex-fiance sweating when I told him that the cost of my traditional marriage was not going to be the 'norm' per se :lol (Nah, that is not why we packed it up!:D) I deliberately scared him sha....cos he was all mouth....too much money shacking his Igbo big head! I told him how all the HRHs would be given invitation cards, how the govt house people would also be in attendance, and how even the women (Umu Ada or whatever they are called) from both my mum's village and my dad's place would expect BIG parties for Adaeze (Princess), how lots of dignitaries would attend not because of me, but because of my father's position...and coupled with the fact that I am the first child and only daughter, who has been running away from marriage all these while, that they would want to really celebrate! happy to send me away from home!! lol...As I know that the village would be agog for days!
Those people look for any reason to come to the palace to sit and eat!!! Dang! My immediate younger brother's wedding was a festival! lasted for 3 days of eating, cooking, dancing, and of course, the youths getting drunk! When we calculated the estimate of what it would cost for my traditional wedding alone, he muttered silently...that he would beg my dad to intervene and allow us do something small and quiet. OK, daddy? Igbo man! His one and ONLY daughter getting married and in a quiet way? Hmmm...I told ex that he should not worry, daddy would spend his own money to meet up to the 'standard'...
So, that is one of the reasons I dont say I am a Princess! And moreso, if I start using that title publicly, and mentioning it in interviews, then, I would have to say what my father's name is, and where I am from and all that.....- which would ultimately lead to exposing my family, my private life etc. NO! I dont want to do that to my family- Invade their privacy. Being the reason why no one would see me linking my parents, siblings picture anywhere near my name or business!
Sure, sometimes, I want to show off my dad's picture to some of my friends and colleagues here in his full Royal Regalia, but I hold myself back! Daddy is a handsome man, I must say, and only place I got his picture is on my table, in private. Only place I got mum's is on my wall and on my hard drive. Only place I got my brother's pic with his wife and his cute daughter who everyone swore looked like me when she was born is on my hard drive!
And dang! That little girl looks like me! I put her picture at 4 months side-by-side with mine when I was 4 months old too, and the only thing that differentiated us was that my picture paper is old and frayed at the edges! My brother told me that when they handed him the girl, he was like, 'hah, this is Ijeoma (my middle name) here!'....and I asked my mum if that was said with happiness or annoyance....no one told me! (I guess, I will never know rolleye:)...Like, is bro T happy he got a daughter that is fine :D like me, or sad that another 'trouble' (me) has entered his house?! LOL...who cares? That is his beeswax lol.
But m-e-n, that little girl - K, started doing everything 4 months before she should...(that's ma girl!!) I took a pic with her and she looks like my daughter! (Awwww....made me so much want to have a daughter ASAP!!!) I told her mum that I will take her back to US with me as per the similarity is too much. Blood no dey lie! But why does she look like me, T (my brother) and I dont look alike! - Not to me sha O! I went to the hair salon with her and her mum in Lagos and the peeps there tot she is my daughter and that her mum is my friend 'escorting us' lol!
Sometimes, I wanna blog and post pictures of my family, but i dont know why in as much as I love to talk about everything else, this is actually the first time I am talking about my family....About Ugo Eze, Lolo (My dear mommy), the Princes (T and C), and the little Princess - K, and the The King Himself - Daddy! Funny it is, when sometimes if I walked into a meeting in the Palace lounge, I had to greet my Dad as 'Eze', and not as daddy.... (especially if I was wearing one of my 'American garbs - like tank top and shorts! or dresses for heat...LOL)...before they say 'Eze pickin spoil from America! lol) not minding that it was dang hot there! Anyhoo.....I am Estella, and I dont like to be called Adaeze or Princess.....
I have worked for my own identity and will keep it that way. And in future too, I shall protect the one I marry from public view. because being in the public eyes, opens you up for lots of crap! And it shall remain that way. let me shoulder and handle the craps that comes with the terrain - alone! Thinking about it, I wonder if I would even post my wedding pictures in public.....I think not. I may post just pictures with just me, no groom, no family...nothing.
My profession demands being social and in the public's eyes, but my personality demands cuddling up by the fireplace, watching a movie or simply resting or playing a computer game with a slow Christian song playing in the background....living a simple, quiet life. Or out somewhere helping someone in need. In as little thing as helping with washing dishes, to cleaning, shopping, or just being a shoulder to lean on. That is really me - Estella....the one that no one knows. The one that is hidden behind my bravadoes and my 'tough chick' external demeanor, the one I thrive so hard not to let people see....just only a few people!....That is Estella....not a princess, just a regular Jane.
Comments