......all about ESTELLA Couture...personal and business.
August 2, 2009
Just love yourself!...
A male hater who was itching from being my rejecting him emailed me that I am not pretty or beautiful....not comparable to the girl he later hitched.......and i sat down and searched out her picture and really looked at our pictures..... Like what would make a guy that mean to voice such rubbish! I know his so-called girlfriend is my age mate, if not older than me! And I really looked at both of our pictures.... I shook my head and wondered more...
Now, the other day, I met them at an event, and I looked and relooked at her again.....I could see the drooping arms, the fat belly, the stretched, taut facial skin (packed full with layers and layers of make-up), the sorry dress she wore that was not in any way flattering neither did it help her hide all the extra disproportionate layers on her sides and thighs....... and I sighed!
I almost wanted to slap myself! Because I know that before I stepped out of the house that evening, I was looking very svelte and my toned arms were looking good in my halter neck dress, which the guys were all ogling at.....even the younger boys - thinking I am their age mate
And the very possessive way my boo held me, with pride and affection and a little bit of meanness for other guys to stay away.....and I smiled!
I smiled because I have great confidence in my self, I smiled because words dont hurt me - not anymore! Not since I allowed other kids to call me 'four eyes', back in primary school because I started wearing eye glasses at 7 years. Looking like a nerd and being pampered and petted by all teachers, and being smart and always coming tops of the class made me the little girl to be picked on always! Other kids hated me! Like it was my fault I had to wear glasses or that I was always my teacher's favorite! When they played I was reading cos I didnt have friends then...I was shy and timid like that! Just me and my books!
Words dont hurt me no more, not after I started growing curves in the right places and had bought my first St. Michael's 32a bra and all the other girls started calling me 'water water yansh', or 'Super Ikebe', because I had big arse back then! (Thank God for Jlo and Beyonce for making big bum, the bomb, cos I swore to do reduction someday!) or the guys on campus singing '17, 18, 19, kpondo' , when I passed them.
yeah, in 2nd year, when the micro mini craze started on campus, and I started wearing them and started getting compliments that I have lovely legs, oh la la .....I over flaunted the legs!! Alas! Something to distract from my big bum! And the male attention?!! Whooopsieee!
Thank God for good home training, so, NO, I didnt lose my head! I didnt start clubbing or messing around! My white Cathechism Rev Fathers from childhood made sure that I grew up and lived a very (as much as I could) Holy life! No messing around with boys!! And Oh! My dad was a Biafran Soldier! Check out Igbo man with Only daughter and she being first born....can someone spell D I S C I P L I N A R I A N?
My own female friends back then (I finally realised much too late, that it was just envy and hatred) would taunt and call me all kinds of names....big arse, square forehead, have igbo women arse, look like a boy without earrings etc Oh MY WORD!
But what used to puzzle me back then (I really was naive or just had over dented self-esteem from all the bullying and name callings) was why I was the one that guys would come toasting and asking out for dates, and NOT my so-called 'pretty' friends....
Anyhoo, campus life gave me back my confidence! I learnt to walk through that long walk from the bus stop to my class at the other side of the campus with my head held high, shoulder squared, eyes dimmed, tummy tucked in, and one cute leg after the other like a super model! And yeah, I started modelling in shows and events in school then. Even contested for Ms. Vogue, and had the overall high score to clinch the crown when frat boys threw tear gas and ended the show cos their guy's girlfriend was obviously not gonna win it! Sad loss!
After that contest, words STOPPED hurting me! So, I got me self-confidence and a CAN DO attitude, NO MATTER what anyone around me says or thinks or believe! IF I TELL MYSELF I CAN DO IT, then, I REALLY CAN and I WILL, by God's Grace!
back to the dude who said his girl is more beautiful than me, I sighed again, because I know beauty is just not external, it is also internal! And I am beautiful from inside! And I am beautiful outside too! I know it and I see it, and I hear it always from good souls as well.
And why I sighed at them both is that if I really stand next to her, you would think she is 12 years older than me! She looks far older than her age, and I know I look far more younger than my age! I got good genes! If I knew how to lie, I would claim 10 years younger than my age and no one would bat an eyelid! Did I tell you guys of the dude who is 9 years younger than me tumbling all over to marry me? And wont go away!? Lol! I had to show him my ID to believe he should be calling me Aunty! lol...Nice kid he is, but I aint dating anyone that young! Nope!
I got to run off to my sewing class now, but in conclusion, I would rather look younger, pretty, and be doing great things for people around me and be remembered as a good person, than look older, mean, have bad reputation and claim I am beautiful!
Give me younger looking, natural beauty any day to older looking, cosmetics-forced beauty!
oh, this is my 15 cents!
Till next post! Toodles and have a lovely, pretty weekend and love yourself Yo!!! No one else would! You owe U that!